I constantly badgered myself, “You should be further along in your career.” “Everyone else of my age, after five years will be in management positions. Some may be happily married while some might settle abroad.”
There is a constant pressure on me to be more, to achieve more, to do better, to be better than what I am right now. I put that pressure on myself. Indian society idealizes the upwardly mobile, outwardly wealthy, ambitious person.
When I will be in my late 20s, I wish to have something more in my life. Something more as in, I idealize a life with a more purposeful meaning.
Obviously, a good job in a good company, a husband, two kids, and a nice house somewhere between the mountains. This is everybody’s basic need when they reach a certain age. But personally speaking, I am living the different dream where I demand an objective from my deeds.
If asked my five-year plan, I would have said to continue to move up in the company, to earn a higher salary, build an extension on my house. But rather, I see myself portrayed myself as an example where my contribution to the world is seen. I would love to present myself as a selfless person who is there to help at one call. I would like to see myself as a person, who is more patient and endearing to the eyes.
After a good five years, instead of hiding the ugliness of my beauty underneath the coats of make-up, I am definitely thinking to wear the coats of smile with no regrets.
Post five years of crucial moments of my life, I would like to see myself as a more responsible and caring daughter. Not only the daughter of my parents, but the daughter of the nation where no matter how big or small, I would be able to see myself contributing to the betterment of my country.
Indeed, the time flies. May be I might be scoring something else at that time, but currently I just need this much of of contentment consumed from my upcoming dreams.9