Hey! Stop rushing

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batori.inSo my cousin was “convinced” to marry this rich-fair Jain guy, last week. Not just her own parents, but our entire extended family was so worried and concerned for this 25 year old, fashion designer to get married to a “decent” guy, before it got too late. But, trust me, it wasn’t very easy for my uncles, aunties and their respective parents (yes, marriage, in our middle-class households, is a long procedure, comprising of hard-labor, more explicitly, hard mental-labor, by almost three generations of the family) to make up her mind by specifically putting forth the most effective reinforces that could help her, ditch the not so fair and rich Punjabi-guy she apparently was in “love” with, and had plans to get married to.

Many a times, our emotions are in conflict and we tend to get persuaded to follow the easily acceptable trend, paved by our parents or their parents, to please their surroundings and times. Pleasing those around us, by SETTLING FOR LESS than what we think we deserve, or what we once desired for, is killing our individuality, much before our bodies die. ‘Settling down’ doesn’t mean getting married and earning a decent living by a 9-5 job and planning kids. It means FINDING YOUR PEACE, and you might just discover that peace in your books and writings, or in deep-waters, or in loud music, or on a horse-back, or even in your dance-room or road-trips to unexplored ends, or may be in just your regular morning coffee or midnight beer, or by getting charmed, witnessing nature’s courses. I see my friends in their “happy-relationships”, some being carried away by momentary temptations, while others, planning, predicting, expecting and hoping the bond to last forever. But the question is, whether involved or single, are you being yourself? Are you doing what you think is worth your most precious time? If yes, stick to it, because you’ve found your peace and you’ve “settled” down pretty happily with it. But if not, what on earth is stopping you from letting loose, and moving on?

Sometimes we compromise, and sacrifice, because we are “good” boys and girls, and adhering to the old-laid-principles, this is expected of us. We bury our true-innermost-self and go with the flow, expecting things to get better and hoping for changes, as “Destiny knows the best”. But why do we fear so much? Why do we turn away from our most beautifully created dreams, afraid of the circumstances, unavailability of resources, or the risks that might get us struggling for years? Why are we in a rush? Is it because, we lack the audacity to be on our own and face our lives’ pits and pinnacles independently? Why are we so used to those comfortable arms, ever ready to catch us when we fall? Why can’t we simply get up, and start afresh without always being acted upon before gathering the valor and potency to move like those “push-back toy cars”?

Well, I think we can struggle for long, and not necessarily “settle-down”, until we find our peace. May be the world can wait if it is so concerned to see us happy. May be we don’t have to always twist and turn to blend in and get accepted. May be we don’t always need to impress. May be we can live for ourselves and for those who genuinely need us and stop being accountable to anything or anyone other than our conscience. May be we can TAKE OUR OWN TIME AND WORK OUR OWN WAYS OUT.

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About Suvi Jain

-Suvi Jain is a third year law student at Aligarh Muslim University

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